It is what it is

A couple weeks ago a friend of mine missed a flight. They shrugged and said “it is what it is”. I’ll admit it when you hear such a phrase the words feel thin, and worn. But this is partially due to the overuse of the phrase which distracts from its real meaning.

At first glance “it is what it is” looks like an admission of defeat, there is no promise that things will get better. No plans to fix things. No sense of unfairness with the current situation. It just describes the brute fact. Camus describes a similar thing with Sisyphus’s rock.[^1] You want a promise things will get better. You want an explanation. But the boulder rolls back down. It is what it is.

In a similar vein, “It is what it is” is similar to the rationalist litany of Tarski:[^2] “If the sky is blue, I want to believe the sky is blue. If the sky is not blue, I want to believe the sky is not blue”. The phrase indicates a wish to believe in the truth. To see what’s there without wishing it away.

The phrase is about observation.[^3] A tree is a tree. Pain is just pain. There’s no extra layer of processing good or bad. There just is. Most if not all my suffering comes from my second layer of processing. This is where I overlay reality with stories. Where I say things like “ this shouldn’t be happening to me” and “If I had it differently, I would be happier”. This phrase cuts through that. It makes me see things as they are. It is in the nature of thoughts to flicker in and out, flowers to wilt, and pain to arise come and go. You see that loss is just loss not an injustice.

Sometimes you can fix things. Sometimes you sweep them up. Either way, it is what it is.

[^1]: Albert Camus — The Myth of Sisyphus [^2]: Litany of Tarski — LessWrong Wiki [^3]: Suchness (Tathātā) — Buddhist idea of “things as they are”

I aim to write cleanly and concisely. Please give me any feedback.